Growing up it was well known around my house that I strongly disliked…ok hated change. Change bothered me so much in fact, that I can remember my parents replacing chairs around our kitchen table and me feeling upset and sad over the loss of the old chairs….crazy I know. With that being said, I find myself in the midst of constant life changes. I’m not just talking small change….I mean huge life changes and this week, I have felt the weight of it.
In the last year of my life, I have left a job (teaching Kindergarten) that I truly loved and for several years felt like God called me to do. In our decision to move to Haiti, this has been one of the hardest parts. There have been days I have wanted to be in a classroom teaching so much it hurt. As this past school year comes to a close, I miss so much having been through a year with a class of kids and getting the chance to watch them grow and become a part of their lives. Leaving teaching has been a hard change.
In December of this past year, Matt came off of staff with RiverTown Church where we had served for the last 5 years. It was in this church that I watched people I love come to know Christ, get married, and have babies. It was in this church that I met my kids in Haiti. It was in this church that I learned to tell God that I would give Him complete control of my life and say yes to wherever He would have me serve Him. Leaving RiverTown has been a hard change.
Our house has been up for sale since January of this year. This is a necessary step in our moving to Haiti full time. This house is too big and expensive at this point and we don’t have the time for the up keep. I realize it is just a house but as I have looked around this past week wondering what to do with all of our belongings, I have thought of the day we moved in and the days after spent painting with Matt’s parents and mine. I have remembered the Bible studies and get-togethers we have had with friends we will have for the rest of our lives. I have thought of the day I sat down next to Matt and said those crazy words, “I think we are supposed to move to Haiti”. We have a tentative offer on our house, which makes it more real. Leaving this house will be a hard change.
Life is full of big and small changes. Some can be fun, some hard, and some terrifying. Thankfully I have grown up some since those days in my parent’s kitchen when I got upset at them for replacing chairs. God has shown me through His Word that He desires a change in me and this is important for me to keep in mind in the midst of all of this. The Bible says in Romans 8:25, “But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” I am to hope for a change in me and in my life and I am so thankful God is changing me….even when it feels really difficult.