Why Is Adoption So Hard?
As you can imagine, with our upcoming adoption (our son's due date is June 6) and with all of the upheaval in Haiti that makes us both thankful for Zeke's adoption being finalized and sad that we can neither go and see our kids in Haiti nor can we bring them here, adoption is weighing heavily on our minds. (Yes, that was all 1 sentence, so hopefully none of my former english teachers are reading this)
One of the things we started hearing a lot when we first began our adoption journey in 2011, and even more when we started All Things New was:
"Why is adoption so expensive" or "Can we just bring one of these kids home with us?"
Adoption is very hard and it is very complicated. Here are some things you may have never considered if you have never really spent time contemplating adoption:
- Child trafficking is real, and it should be really, really, really hard to adopt a child because there are some really bad people out there. (Still hoping none of my english teachers are reading this)
- It is expensive because you need attorneys, adoption agencies, caregivers while the adoption is being organized, orphanages in other countries, financial help for the birth mom if you are adopting an infant, etc.
- International adoption, orphan care, and really any other form of caring for vulnerable children and people brings out both the best and worst in people. When corrupt people who want to take advantage of children meet "caring" people who think throwing money at a problem works...well...
- Adoption has a "fairy tale-ish" quality to it. There is this idea that an adoptive couple comes and saves an at-risk baby/child and for the rest of their lives everything is awesome. Adoption is not a fairy tale, adoptive parents are not saviors, and there are many real factors that make adoption one of the most difficult ways to add to your family.
- Not everyone who wants to adopt should be able to adopt.
These are just a few of the reasons that adoption is really hard. It Should Be! You're not buying a hamster or giving home to a dog. You are committing the rest of your life, your finances, and your love to another human that you are completely responsible for.
Listen to these numbers:
- 35% of Americans have considered adoption; less than 2% have adopted.
- International adoptions cost between $35,000 and $70,000.
- Private, domestic adoptions cost between $30,000 and $50,000.
- 62% of American adoptions happen before the adopted child is 1 month old.
- Most foster care adoptions happen after a child's 4th birthday.
- There are about 1.3 million abortions in America every year; There are about 20,000 infant adoptions in America every year.
- There are about 120,000 children in foster care waiting to be adopted in America.
There are so many other things that could be discussed in relation to adoption, but this blog can only be so long. We covet your prayers for our upcoming adoption and we appreciate everything that you do to help take care of children here and around the world. If you have any questions about adoption or orphan care please do not hesitate to reach out. We may not know the answer, but we probably know someone who does!